Blooming

The first plant I remember trying to grow was a little marigold I’d gotten from Callaway Gardens. My parents and I had gone on a family trip and, when we left, I carried it home in a little styrofoam cup. I planted it. It died.

It wasn’t my last attempt at having a green thumb, and it certainly was not my last failure. Both of my parents are amazing at growing things. My mother has always kept indoor plants and my father loves his grass. For most of my life, I thought the green thumb had skipped a generation.

Well, gentle reader (Bridgerton voice), I was wrong. It turns out that I had the right ideas, but I wasn’t executing well. I over-watered. I moved to places that didn’t get enough light for my plants to thrive. I didn’t change the plants’ pots the way I should’ve. Like most things, I got better when I practiced.

Recently, I have decided to plant gardens rather than stick to my indoor plants. Moving into a townhome has given me my own dirt. I have enough time to observe the sun and its patterns and envision my plants. So far, I have planted tulips, hyacinths, lilies, and, my favorite, sunflowers. All have thrived in my yard. I have done much better than I anticipated, and I did it by slowing down and paying attention to the plant.

My plants and I have something in common. At this point in my life, I have managed to narrow down what I need in order to thrive. I purposely seek those places, but I can’t control everything, so I focus on meeting my needs as best as I can. I would prefer a beach, but I don’t live close to one anymore, so I choose lakes. I couldn’t teach dance anymore, but I missed the classroom, so I am going back to school. I enjoy hanging with friends, so I am being intentional in making new ones that live close by, and planning trips to see the others.

I spent so much of my life longing for things and experiences that felt unattainable when what I wanted was the feeling I believed it would bring me. Now I can honestly say, I feel the feelings I have always wanted to feel. My needs are being met in the loveliest and most surprising of ways. I feel at home with myself and am able to explore at my leisure. It is a wonderful experience, and I hope that it continues. Like my beautiful sunflowers, I am blooming where I was planted.

My first sunflower and its bee friend.